Boys Without Girlfriends

As a coeducation institution boys and girls study together in North South University, they come in contact with many strangers on the sidewalks, steps, classrooms, and library. At first these individuals constituted a confusing blur of people they didn’t know. In a relatively short period, however, as they walked down on the campus or sat in the classrooms, some faces began to stand out simply because they passed by or sat beside a few individuals more than once. These casual and unplanned contacts soon led to mutual recognition. Those boys and girls may not have known who these individuals were, but they came to recognize their faces. As a result both of them were more likely to say â€Å"Hi† the next time they saw one another and perhaps exchanged a word or two about random topics such as the upcoming exam, or some event on campus. Thus they become familiar to each other and this familiarity leads to liking. This happens when there is too much exposure between boys and girls and they become friends each other. As a result, repeated exposure ordinarily results in increasingly positive feelings and friendly relations. They become friends and come closer to each other. It helps them to find the right person they are looking for, and they expect more company from their likeable persons to know each other very well. Most of the students are aged between 20 and 25, as young people they normally have more attraction towards the opposite sex, they may fall in love with their male or female classmates. Young boys have this kind of feelings or attraction to girls. When any young boy finds the qualities in a young girl that he is looking for, he may fall in love with that girl. The young male students of NSU have this kind of feelings and they may look for the right girl in NSU. But all boys may not have female friends in NSU for several reasons and the research paper will be focused on mainly the condition of those boys without female friends and how they handle the situation. [pic] The boys without girlfriends in NSU Most of the boys are without girl friends in NSU, there may be some reasons behind it. At present love is a great issue in any young person’s life; every boy wants to have a girl friend to get company. It is also a psychological need of any young boy, they need love, and affection, and caring and mental support from someone special and it is usually his female friend. When any boy doesn’t have girl friend, he may feel the need of company and the lacking of his psychological needs. It may be a typical condition for those boys who seriously want the mental support and love from a girl whom they are looking for. The other boys don’t have this kind of problem if they find themselves perfect without girl friends. The possible reasons for having no girl friends, the condition without girl friends and feelings of those boys are mainly discussed on the basis of questionnaire For the research I did my survey on 50 boys who did not have any girlfriend in NSU. I prepared the research paper analyzing their replies and showed the answers through graphs. [pic] The reasons for not having girlfriend The first question was to identify the reason why the boys don’t have girl friend. Boys may have different reasons for having no girlfriend; the reasons may be financial problems, study pressure and others. The options were mainly given based on the realistic situations of the boys in NSU. The first option was -study pressure; all students need to work hard, study regularly in NSU. They always remain busy with their studies and do not have enough free time. The next option was shortage of money. Money is a big issue in today’s competitive world and it is considered one of the most important facts in any relationship. It is not exceptional for the boys in NSU and they don’t want to spend too much money beyond their limitations. The third option was lack of time. The students always remain busy with their studies, classes, project and part time jobs. Some students might not have so much time to spend in vain. They are always in rush to finish their works on time. The last option was for those boys who did not want to have affair with girls during their study. But it was rare. The result of the options will be found from the following graph. [pic] If we look at the graph, 15%students said they did not have female friends for study pressure, 20% showed the reason of shortage of money and the rest 15% did not have enough time to continue affair, their lake of time was the reason for not having girlfriend. [pic] The idea about love Love is a central issue in most people’s lives and some times people may not know the right meaning about love. Their perspective may be different and every one can think about love in different way. The second question was asked that the boys had clear idea about love to make relationship with any girl. [pic] From the graph, the opinions of the question will be clear. It was found that 20% said they had clear idea about love, 10% said that they did not have so much knowledge about love to make affair with any girl. The rest of the 20% gave opinion that it was not necessary to have clear idea about love, because everyone might have different feelings and thoughts to get involved in affair. [pic] Effect of money The importance of money in love was mentioned in the first question. Money has magical effect to start and continue an affair. There is a popular modern proverb â€Å" The thicker the money bag of boys, the deeper the love is of the girls†. So money has major impact on affair. Most of the boys in NSU strongly supported that proverb, as they do not have enough sources to earn money and to spend the money for their girlfriends. Money is mainly important for boys to treat, give precious gifts to their girlfriends. It is one of the strategies to impress girl and to maintain social status. It is seen that boys always spend money when they have affair with a girl. At present this traditional way to impress girl has not been changed, in the survey it was found 40% boys strongly agreed with the impact of money on affair. Most of the students believed that it was not affordable for them to treat a girl in some prestigious and expensive restaurant or first food shop. They also gave opinion that they paid a lot of money for their education, so they were not supposed to pay extra money for maintaining femalefreind. If anyone had a girlfriend, he managed money in different ways. Only 5% believed that money did not have any effect on affair. The rest 5% answered money might have effect on affair occasionally not for always. So economical issue is considered as one of the important fact for the boys who think shortage of money is the main reason for having no girlfriend. [pic] From the graph the effectiveness of money is visible, so it can be said that money is one of the important factors on affair. [pic] What boys think about NSU girls? The research paper will mainly focus on the boys who don’t have girl friends in NSU. There was also a question what the boys thought about NSU girls. The options were mainly based on the different perspectives. First option was the NSU girls were not good for long time relationship. It was found some girls lost their attraction and they did not have so much patience to continue the relationship for a long time. The next option was they could only be good friends for their friendly qualities and behavior. The third option was that the girls hang out only for study benefits, it was often seen some girls mainly hang out with the boys to get the assignment, project done by the boys and they made good relationship only for study benefits. After the semester they were not as friendly as they before. It was also found that many girls were very rude and they did not want to have affair with any boys. Most of the boys thought that those girls did not value any one’s feelings and they never preferred the likeness of others at any cost. It will be clearer from the graph what boys actually think about NSU girls. [pic] From the pie chart, it has become obvious that the girls of NSU are not good for any long time relationship. The half of the boys (25%) agreed with that. But they can be good friends according the opinion of 10% boys. Other 10% boys gave different opinion; they said some girls hang out only for study benefits. The rest 5 % replied that a few girls did not value the feelings or likeness of any boy. So it is found that NSU girls are not good for any long time relationship according to the opinion of the boys. [pic] Necessity of having girlfriend in NSU There was also a question whether the boys thought that it was necessary having a female friend in NSU. Since boys and girls study together for a long time it is possible for them to get involved in affair. If we look at the graph it will be clear how many boys think to have affair with a girl in NSU. Their opinions related with the question will also visible. pic] Half of the students said that they might have girlfriend without hampering study. When any boys and girls have affair, there may be some emotional problems, which causes loosing concentration to study. As the students pay al lot of money for their studies and they never want to fail or getting lower grades in their courses. 25% boys wanted to have girlfriend without hampering their studies. Other 15% strictly said that it was not necessary to love any girl in NSU. Only 5% replied it was necessary having girlfriend and the rest 5% said that the boys could have only one girlfriend not more than one. It is found most of the boys prefer to have girlfriend without hampering their studies. [pic] Bad expereince about affair with NSU girls When people have any bad expereince of any thing in his life, he will never want to do the same thing again. If any boy has bad expereince about romantic relationship, he must try to avoid getting involved in relationship due to his previous expereince. Some boys may have bad experiences about relationship with NSU girls. It was also included in the questionnaire. The first option was about the heart breaking, there might be some facts that could break any boys’ heart. The second option was about those who did not have any bad expereince about relationship with NSU girls. The next option was the fact of being rejected. It was found in most cases that the majority of the boys were rejected and they suffered mentally for a long time. When any boy is rejected, it might be difficult for him to overcome his mental depression. It is a common fact in NSU that many boys have the pathetic expereince of being rejected. The following graph will show how many boys have bad expereince about relationship with NSU girls. [pic] From the bar graph, we can see that few students (10%) had heart broken expereince. The majority of the students (20%) did not have any bad expereince. Some boys were found having the expereince of being rejected; those 15% mainly did not get any response from the girls to get involved in affair. The rest of the students had other experiences. [pic] What boys do when they see any couple? It is found that most of the boys are without girlfriends in NSU, and few of them have girlfriends. What happened when the boys saw the couples and their reaction was asked in the questionnaire. It was found that most of the students did nothing when they saw any couple, they did not have any reaction and they took it normally. Few of the students were found that they admired, criticized and sometimes dreamed to be like them. It will be clear from the graph [pic] It is seen that 40% boys did nothing and they did not show any reaction. So when they saw any couple it seemed to be usual fact to the boys. A few of boys were found who admired or criticized when they saw any couple. Fantasies also worked in the boys who dreamed to be a couple with the girls whom they loved. pic] Feelings of boys without girlfriends The next question was about the most sensitive issue- the feelings of the boys without girl friends. Most of the boys feel loneliness†-an emotional and cognitive reaction to having fewer and less satisfying relationship than one desires. † Loneliness is accomplished by negative effect, including feelings of depression, anxiety, unhappiness, and dissatisfacti on. The boys who did not have enough friends, they felt lonely without girl friends in NSU. Some boys do not bother responsibility in any kind of serious type of relationship like affair. Those boys may be happy without girlfriends because they do not have other responsibilities and restrictions. They are free from emotional bindings. A young boy without girlfriend may feel boring, he become tired for his monotonous life without the regular company of a charming girlfriend. It is usual fact for the young aged people; they always expect the company of opposite sex. Few boys may be found that they do not want to get involved in an affair. They may dislike having romance with any girl during their study. The reply of the boys is shown in the following graph. [pic] The bar graph shows that half of the boys (25%) replied they were free from all kinds of responsibilities in affair. They did not need to be worried about their duties to girlfriends. The other 15% felt the loneliness. Though they had friends, they expected the company of a girlfriend and the lack ness made them feel lonely. Only 5% felt boring in the condition without girlfriend and the rest 5% thought differently. They said that they were fine without girlfriends and they did not want to be involved in any close relationship with a girl in NSU. [pic] Passing time without girlfriend When a boy is involved in an affair with a girl, he usually passes time together and enjoys the every moment they are passing together. But the boys without girlfriends passed their time in different ways. When they are alone they pass the time in studying, Most of the boys without girlfriends pass their time chatting with friends. This gives them opportunity to pass time in an enjoyable way. It may fill the lack of the girlfriend’s company, and the boys do not feel loneliness. Some boys who did not have enough friends, they might feel loneliness and those boys passed the time walking alone outside the campus. Most of the boys without girlfriends do not want to be frustrated and they pass time according to their own choice. From the graph it will be clear by how most of the boys pass time without girlfriends. [pic] If we look at the graph, majority of the boys (35%) passed time by chatting with friends and enjoyed the company while they were with their friends. The other 10% students replied that they passed time by studying in library. A few of the boys (5%) passed time by browsing Internet and mailing friends who live in abroad. From all the replies of the boys, it is visible that most of them enjoy their friend’s company to pass free time. pic] Facing problems without girlfriends When boys could not get involved in romantic relationship with the girls whom they loved, they (boys) were frustrated and passed through problematic life. The problem that they actually face is for loneliness. When any boy feels loneliness, he may be frustrated or depressed and it hampers his mental sati sfactions. A boy may suffer more depression when a girl refuses him, he may be frustrated for his heart broken. He lost confidence or attraction to love when he found his dream did not come true, it might change his mentality and idea about love. When any boy proposes a girl, he must be self-confident but after the refusal he can loose his self-confidence and never want to propose any girl in future. In this way the boys may be dissatisfied with affair and they loose attraction to love. The options in the question focused the problems that boys faced without girlfriend. [pic] The graph is indicating that how many boys face problems when they don’t have girlfriends. 20% of the boys felt the problems of requiring regular company of a girl. 15% replied that they were often frustrated and dissatisfied with their condition without girlfriends. The other 10% said that they were loosing confidence when any girl refused them, and the rest 5% answered that they were loosing attraction to love. [pic] Future desire to have girlfriend The boys who are now without girlfriends may have wish to get involved in affair with a girl in future. The last question was about the future planning of boys to make any girl as girlfriend in future, it actually depended on some several conditions. Every body wants to find out the similarities from others to continue a relationship. Similarities are more important than repeated exposure. When any boy finds similar mentality, choices with a girl, he becomes emotionally weak to her. They always look for a girl who has all kinds of qualities that the boys are looking for. Some students do not prefer girlfriends in student life and they never want to make girlfriends in future. Sometimes it actually depends on the situation if the boys are capable to continue relationship. Most of the boys are afraid to get involved in affair due to family restriction. If the boys get support from the parents, they may be involved in romantic relationship with girls. They will try to do that when there is no family restriction. [pic] Since the research paper is based on the opinion of the boys without girlfriends, there was also given two open questions to write down how they coped with the situation and whether they actually preferred the condition without girlfriends. Many boys gave different opinions and expressed feelings when they had no girlfriends, they passed life with bad expereince if they were rejected or cheated by any girl. It might have impact on a boy’s mind when he would not get the girl whom he loved. From the replies of the boys it is also seen that some of the boys are fine because they don’t have any extra responsibilities for a particular girl as the boys have no romantic relation with any girl. [pic] Conclusion When life itself does not come to a halt and any one does not stop breathing, than there is no being upset in being upset for not having girlfriend and jeopardizing their own life. Actually this is the age to study and to build them up and there will always be a better one for waiting. Most of the boys in NSU are young and this is the stage to prepare them for the future. Their entire future mainly depends on how they pass their young age and how much they can concentrate in study. When any student can overcome all his problems and pay attention to study he must be successful in his life, he won’t be afraid to face any problems that he may come across in future. Most of the boys are without girlfriend in NSU, it can give them mental dissatisfaction for the want of company. The reasons and conditions without girlfriends may be different, but the important thing is not to take the condition without girlfriends seriously. So if the boys think their life is boring and they are loosing confidence due to frustration, it will be harmful to them in future. No one can progress without self-confidence. If any boy has problems without girlfriend, he should try to overcome the depression by any means to keep him free from all kinds of emotional and psychological problems. It will be beneficial for their own future. This is the age for having fun not getting into serious mental depression. They should look at the bright side of not having girlfriends; they spend money and time in enjoying games, eating out with friends, and camping.